The whole ‘New Year, New Me’ bullshit is just setting us up for another resolution dumpster fire! It’s not inspiration—it’s manipulation. Resolutions don’t fix us; they just burn out our confidence year after year. And I’m pretty sure we’re all fucking tired of it.

Don’t fall for that “What’s your resolution?” bullshit when it punches you in the face at work next week. That’s just Sharon from accounting trying to figure out if she’ll have some imaginary competition to look forward to so she doesn’t have to cry alone in the bathroom at lunch. And miss me with the resolve-not-to-resolve—that’s just another way of hiding the effects of the inevitable shame spiral you hit every year when you swear to lose 20 lbs, settle for losing 10, then gain back 8 at Christmas just to do it again next year.

Let’s stop pretending that the “New Year, New Me” narrative isn’t a straight-up scam. It’s not about helping you grow—it’s about making you believe that you’re broken. That somehow, December 31st is the expiration date on everything you’ve ever been, and January 1st is your shot at becoming worthy. It’s a reset button they press year after year to keep us chasing a version of ourselves we don’t even need.

This whole idea that we’re supposed to strive for some sanitized, curated version of success? It’s exhausting. It’s soul-crushing. And worse, it’s fake. Productivity isn’t purpose—it’s a performance. And when we tie our worth to how many boxes we can check, it’s no wonder we feel empty.

Why do we do this to ourselves? And the bigger question is: Why do we let others do it to us?

Visceral Truth

They’ve trained us to believe that stillness is laziness, rest is failure, and contentment is complacency—because if we’re not moving, we’re not producing. But who decided that? Who benefits from that? Not you. Not me. The only winners here are the ones selling the lie.

So here’s the real question: Who are you hustling for? If it’s not for you, then why the hell are you grinding yourself into dust? The only thing you owe anyone is your truth—and that truth sure as hell doesn’t come with a checklist.

Opposing Arguments: The Defenders of the Cult of Goals

Let’s call it out: the people preaching ‘you need goals’ are full of shit. And deep down, they know it.Not because they’re evil masterminds, but because they’ve bought into a system that thrives on guilt and shame. Their arguments? Predictable as hell and just as flimsy.

Their Claims

• “Goals give you purpose!” No, they give you anxiety wrapped in a PowerPoint presentation.
• “Goals keep you motivated!” Sure—right up until they don’t, and you’re stuck blaming yourself instead of this rigged system.
• “Without goals, you’ll never achieve anything.” Tell that to the millions of creators, thinkers, and doers who didn’t have vision boards cluttering their walls.

The system isn’t about goals—it’s about guilt. And guilt keeps us buying their products, their courses, their lies.

Why Their Arguments Are Trash

The truth is, this obsession with goals is rooted in fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of sitting with yourself and realizing you don’t know what you want because you’ve spent your whole life chasing what other people told you to want. And that fear? It’s not yours. It’s been fed to you, drip by drip, by a society that profits off your insecurity.

Take the whole “achieve your potential” bullshit. What does that even mean? Who gets to decide what your potential is? Some TED Talk speaker with perfect lighting? Screw that. Potential isn’t a ladder you climb; it’s a horizon you explore. And sometimes, just being is the most radical thing you can do in a world obsessed with doing.

The defenders of this goal-centric mindset love to ignore the human cost. The burnout. The anxiety. The constant sense that you’re falling short. They act like the problem is you, not the system. “Just try harder,” they say. “You’re not disciplined enough.” No, maybe the system is broken. Maybe we’re all tired of bending ourselves into shapes that don’t fit just to keep up appearances.

The Emotional Toll

Let’s get real here. How many of us have set goals just to feel like we’re worth something? How many times have we told ourselves that if we just hit that milestone, we’ll finally be happy? And how many times has it worked? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Because happiness isn’t a destination. It’s not a goal you achieve. It’s a state of being—and it sure as hell doesn’t come from forcing yourself into someone else’s mold.

This system isn’t about helping you thrive. It’s about keeping you stuck. Stuck in a loop of striving and falling short. Stuck in a cycle where your worth is always just out of reach. And the people defending it? They’re not your allies—they’re gatekeepers. And here’s the truth: you don’t need the keys to their house. You’re better off building your own.

The Psychological Manipulation of “Better”

Here’s the dirty little secret of all this “self-improvement” propaganda: it’s not about making you better—it’s about making you feel broken so you’ll buy the fix. The goal isn’t to help you grow—it’s to keep you in a constant state of needing, of reaching, of never quite arriving.

The idea of “better” isn’t defined by you—it’s handed down from on high by industries that profit off your dissatisfaction. Social media, self-help, fitness, beauty, productivity apps—they’re all in on it. They whisper (and sometimes shout), “You could be so much more… if only.” If only you worked harder. If only you looked different. If only you bought this course, this app, this miracle solution.

How They Get You

They create the problem. They convince you there’s something wrong with you. Your body isn’t good enough. Your habits are trash. Your life doesn’t look like an Instagram flat lay, so clearly, you’re failing. The kicker? Half the “problems” they point out are made up. Nobody needed a $200 weighted planner before they invented the concept of “planner peace.”

They sell you the fix. Once they’ve got you doubting yourself, here comes the pitch. They don’t just sell you a product—they sell you a promise. “Buy this, and you’ll finally be the person you’re supposed to be.” Spoiler: You won’t. Because the second you “fix” one thing, they’ll point out ten more things that need work.

They shame you into compliance. And if you don’t buy in? If you dare to reject the system? They’ll make sure you feel it. “Oh, you’re fine with being mediocre? That’s cute.” They act like opting out of their game is a moral failing, as if refusing to participate makes you lazy or unmotivated. It’s manipulation, pure and simple.

The Endless Loop

This is where it gets insidious. The self-improvement machine doesn’t want you to succeed—it wants you to stay stuck in the grind. Because success would mean you stop needing their products. They can’t have that. So, they keep moving the goalposts. Every time you think you’ve reached “better,” they dangle a new version of it just out of reach. It’s the world’s most exhausting hamster wheel.

And here’s the worst part: they don’t even hide it. How many ads have you seen that start with, “Feeling stuck?” They know you’re tired, overwhelmed, and questioning yourself. They lean into that. They exploit it. Because a confident, content person doesn’t make them money.

The Fallout

This isn’t harmless marketing. It’s a constant barrage of “you’re not enough” messages that seep into how you see yourself, how you move through the world. It makes you second-guess your choices, your worth, your very existence.

You start to internalize it. You think, “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should be working harder, doing more, fixing myself.” And before you know it, you’re measuring your life against standards you didn’t even set. You’re chasing a version of “better” that was never yours to begin with.

Let’s Flip the Script

Here’s the truth they don’t want you to hear: You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. The idea that you’re inherently flawed is a lie sold to you by people who make money off your self-doubt. Sure, growth is great. Change can be powerful. But it has to come from you. From what you want, not what the world says you should want.

Better isn’t about achieving some bullshit ideal. It’s about defining what matters to you and letting the rest go. It’s about saying, “I don’t need your approval, your products, or your damn resolutions to be enough.”

Redefining the Rules (and Then Breaking Them)

If the current system has taught us anything, it’s that the rules aren’t made for us—they’re made for the people already winning. And the sick joke? The people making the rules have no idea what it’s like to live outside their bubble. They don’t understand neurodiversity, systemic barriers, or the weight of trying to exist in a world that wasn’t built for you. Their rules are scaffolding for their privilege, and they expect everyone else to climb it without a harness.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to play their game. You don’t have to prove yourself on their terms. In fact, you’re not obligated to prove yourself at all. The most radical thing you can do is refuse to participate in a system that wasn’t designed for you in the first place.

Why the System Works for Them

Let’s not sugarcoat it: the people defending these structures are often the ones benefiting from them. The ones whose identities, experiences, and abilities already align with the unspoken rules of success. They don’t need accommodations or redefinitions because the world is already set up to affirm them at every turn.

And if you fall outside that mold? If you’re neurodivergent, marginalized, or simply not interested in following their script? Too bad. You’re expected to keep up, to assimilate, to erase the parts of yourself that don’t fit their narrative. That’s the unspoken contract: conform or be cast aside.

The Price of Conformity

But here’s what they don’t talk about: conforming comes at a cost. It’s exhausting. It’s dehumanizing. And worst of all, it’s unsustainable. You can only bend yourself into their shape for so long before you snap. And the tragedy is, so many people blame themselves for breaking under the weight of a system that was never meant to hold them.

Rewriting the Narrative

This is where the real work begins. It’s not enough to reject their rules—we have to rewrite them. And that starts with asking ourselves some hard questions:

• What do I value?
• What do I want my life to look like, outside of what society expects?
• How do I define success, growth, and worth?

These aren’t easy questions, especially when the noise of societal expectations is so loud. But they’re necessary. Because once you define your own rules, you’re no longer at the mercy of a system that doesn’t see you.

Breaking the Rules

When you rewrite the rules, you reclaim your power. And the best part? You’re not obligated to make it pretty. Breaking the rules doesn’t have to be a grand, dramatic gesture. Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying no. No to the grind culture. No to the pressure to be constantly improving. No to the idea that you’re only worthy if you’re productive.

Breaking Free From the Noise

Here’s the thing about stepping off the hamster wheel: it’s not glamorous. It’s not the Pinterest-perfect vision board or a cute little “self-care” checklist. It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. And it’s going to piss people off—especially the ones who’ve benefited from you playing along all this time.

But here’s the truth they don’t want you to hear: you don’t owe them your compliance. You don’t owe them your silence. And you sure as hell don’t owe them your sanity. Breaking free isn’t about rebellion for rebellion’s sake; it’s about survival. It’s about saying, “I’ve had enough of twisting myself into knots to make you feel comfortable.”

What This Means for You

It’s not about throwing everything away or rejecting change altogether. Growth is still important—but it has to be your growth. Not a checklist handed to you by society, not a cookie-cutter resolution sold to you by the self-help industry. It’s about knowing yourself so deeply that no one else gets to tell you who you are or what you need.

Ask yourself:

• What would my life look like if I wasn’t chasing someone else’s definition of success?
• What makes me feel alive, not productive?
• Who do I want to be, just for me?

The answers to these questions aren’t easy, and they’re not going to fit on a post-it note. But they’re yours. And that makes them worth fighting for.

What Happens Next

So, what now? You stop asking for permission. You stop letting the noise of the world drown out your own voice. You start writing your own rules—not to break theirs, but to build something that actually works for you.

For 2025, don’t aim to be “better.” Aim to be truer. More honest. More aligned with who you already are.

Reject the idea that you have to justify your existence. You don’t. Just being here, in all your messy, complicated glory, is enough.

Start small, but start now. Maybe it’s saying no to something that doesn’t serve you. Maybe it’s taking five minutes to ask yourself what you really want. Whatever it is, take the step. It’s yours to take.

Why This Matters

We’re heading into a new year, but that doesn’t mean you have to become a new you. The world loves to sell the idea that you’re not enough—but the truth is, you are. You always have been. And the minute you stop apologizing for that, the minute you stop trying to fit into their boxes, you take back the power they’ve been using against you all along.

So, screw the planners, the resolutions, the hustle culture nonsense. Let’s make 2025 the year of unapologetic self-ownership. The year you stop chasing “better” and start living fully. Not for them, not for their system, but for you.